


What kind of Pokemon are you?

by Nutternut



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Jokes, Corran (Mentioned), Established Relationship, M/M, Pokemon - Freeform, SO MUCH FLUFF, Self-Indulgent, allura (mentioned) - Freeform, klance, shiro (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 20:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14386488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nutternut/pseuds/Nutternut
Summary: This is what happens when the paladins have too much free time: they ask the important questions.orIt's humor Lance day...which is every day.





	What kind of Pokemon are you?

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely self-indulgent fluff. I put very little actual though in which pokemon represents each paladin just wanted to have some fun. If you have better suggestions totally hit me up in comments or on Tumblr @nutternut. 
> 
> I also wanted to thank my super amazing and coooooool friend, EveningStarGazer for her encouragement and being my Beta. Go follow her on Tumblr too!!
> 
> Constructive critisim is always welcome. I can only grow as a writer if you tell me what it is you don't like, not just an "ewwwwww".

“Okay, so we all know if Pidge was a pokemon she would be a Pidgey, right?” Lance spoke, breaking the silence and causing three very confused heads to stop, turn, and stare.

 

“The fuck, Lance?” Pidge deadpanned.

 

“So...” Lance continued disregarding Pidge’s confusion. “What kind of pokemon do you think the rest of us would be?” Lance was sitting on the couch in the recently designated ‘rec room’. Well, sitting isn’t the right word, his back was on the seat of the couch, legs laying against the back and his head flopped off where a normal person’s legs would be. He looked around at his upside-down friend. Pidge was across the room on an opposite couch looking up from her computer, sitting to her right and leaning over her shoulder was Hunk, and much further right was Keith looking up from a tablet.

 

“Ummmm...where did that come from?” Hunk asked.

 

“Dunno just bored and my mind was wandering.” Lance shrugged his shoulder, his lip twitching in an eager smile as he urged on his friends. “So come on, let’s do some in-depth pokemon analysis!”

 

“If you wanted an ‘in-depth’ pokemon analysis of us, you wouldn’t pick a pokemon for Pidge based off her name,” Keith spoke up, glaring across the room.

 

Lance turned his head to look at Keith “Awwww don’t be like that Babe, this will be fun! Like, you’re totally a fighting pokemon. OH MY GOD!!!” Lance began to flail his arms as he struggled like an overturned turtle to face his friend. “Keith would be a Hitmontop!”

 

Keith let out a deep sigh, gently placing the tablet on the couch next to him and leaning forward as he rested his elbows on his knees. “We’re actually doing this? Fine, but I have no idea what that is.”

 

Hunk and Pidge looked at each other before Hunk begrudgingly asked, “Why exactly is Keith a Hitmontop? I get the whole fighting type by why that one?”

 

“It does have that whole grumpy face going for it, but our Keith has finally grown out of that phase,” Pidge added making the red paladin scowl at her.  She grimaced, grumbling under her breath “Maybe not.”

 

“Because there is no Hitmonbotton! Cause you know Keith---”

 

“OH MY GOD LANCE!” Keith quickly covered his now very red face as Pidge and Hunk broke out into laughter leaning on each other for support and trying to catch their breath. “Well, you’re..a...a...A STUPID MAGIKARP!!” he stuttered.

 

“I am quite happy evolving into a badass Gyarados.” Lance proclaimed, face splitting into a wide grin.

  
  


“No!” Pidge shouted wiping a tear from her eye “I have an even better pokemon for Lance! He’s a Feebas!”

 

“Yes!” Hunk was first to agree, clapping excitedly as he bounces up and down on the couch.

 

“What?! No! No way! No no no! I’m not a stupid ugly fish!!” Lance just about screeched.

 

Keith shifted his puzzled expression from his boyfriend to the cackling duo and back in hopes of an explanation. “What is a Feebas? I only know the original 150. Didn’t really have access to the other games growing up.”

 

“Awww Babe.” Lance cooed “it’s actually 151, but who's counting right? And you don’t need to worry about what a Feebas is” Lance shifted his gaze to Pidge accusingly and glaring “Cause I’m not one!”

 

“Alright Keith,” Pidge started her explanation “Feebas was the Gen 3 version of Magikarp but way more annoying. First of all to actually catch one was a bitch and a half. It only showed up on one route in the whole game and you could only catch it by fishing.” She flopped back on the couch, groaning as though she had just returned from just such an ordeal.

 

“That doesn’t seem so bad.”

 

“It wouldn’t be except you can only fish it up from one of six random tiles out of the over four hundred tiles there. I know what your thinking, why not ask someone who caught one ‘where are the tiles?’ You can’t because they were randomly generated. And to make matters worse you can catch other pokemon in the same tile. So you could find the right tile and then just get bad luck and not fish it up.” By this point Pidge had resumed her previous sitting position, hands thrown in the air and huffing in annoyance.

 

“That does seem really annoying to get. Does it at least evolve into something good?” Keith shook his head at his friend’s display of exasperation.

 

“Oh yeah Milotic was a great water pokemon, but evolving it was another headache.” Hunk took over the explanation. “Gen 3 had contests, which was a mini-game that introduced 5 more stats. I think they were coolness, cuteness, toughness, beauty and one other I forget.”

 

“Cleverness!” Pidge added with a grin.

 

“Oh yeah, thanks Pidge. So yeah to evolve a Feebas into a Milotic it needed to max out its beauty stat. And that could only be done by feeding it pokeblocks that you would make from pokeberries. So, once you force fed it enough you just go out, level it, and BAM, Milotic.”

 

Keith was very intently starting at Hunk nodding as the conversation continues. “So let me get this straight, Lance is an annoying ugly pokemon that you need to call pretty enough times that he believes it and then evolves?” Keith shook with the effort of barely contained amusement.  At this point, Lance was sporting a pout with his arms and legs crossed. “Yup, Lance is totally a Feebas”

 

“Traitor!! I don’t even know why I’m dating you! And you Hunk…...et tu brute?”

 

“Sorry buddy, you know that whole if the shoe fits saying?”

 

“I hate you all…..”

 

“So Lance is a Feebas, Pidge until we reassess is a Pidgey, and I think Keith would be a Blaziken.” Hunk started to explain before Keith had a chance to ask. “It’s the final evolution of one of the starters. Starts as this adorbs fire bird chick, then eventually evolves into this badass Fighting/Fire type, plus it gets a mega evolution. Um… don’t ask about mega evolutions man that's a whole nother topic. But do you all agree? It’s totally Keith right?” Hunk was looking around the room at his friends waiting for feedback.

 

“Hmmmmm” Pidge hummed. “I was thinking Houndoom, you know that Dark/Fire demon dog. Or Aegislash, cause it’s literally a sword, but Blaziken does fit him pretty well. And I’m reassessing myself right now, I wanna be a Porygon2.”

 

Lance finally finished pouting and cocked his head to the side looking at Pidge “I get you would wanna be a tech pokemon, but wouldn’t you wanna be Porygon-Z since that’s the final evolution”

 

“No way, that thing is creepy looking! I’m fine being a second evolution. So now we just need one for Hunk.” Pidge rested her chin on her fist and began pondering.

 

“I swear if anyone calls me a Snorlax I’m gonna mega punch all of you.” Hunk threatened, eyeing his friends but ultimately stopping at Lance.

 

“Dude! I would never call you that! Even after you insulted me by calling me a Feebas, which, I might add, still hurts. I was gonna say Golurk.”

 

“He’s not gonna stop with the Feebas is he?” Pidge spoke up.

 

“Not likely” a wicked grin appeared on Keith’s face, his voice softer as he addressed Lance “How about tonight I help you evolve into a Milotic?”

 

“Eeeewwwwww!”  “Gross guys!” The room was filled with gagging noises as Pidge and Hunk made their opinions known.

 

Lance was sporting a matching grin “I’m going to hold you to that my fiery cock pokemon.”

 

“OKAY!!!! Getting back on track!!” Hunk quickly blurted before the conversation got any worse. “So Golurk huh? He’s a semi-recent one, right?”

 

“Yeah. I’ve lost track of which game introduced him, maybe gen 5 or something. It’s that big Ghost/Ground pokemon that looked like a suit of armor you did not want to mess with. It also can learn ‘fly’ which is super awesome and immediately earned a spot on my team.”

 

“I can deal with being a suit of armor. Well, we figured out all of us. We wanna figure out Shiro, Allura, and Coran?”

 

With the way the room was eerie quiet and all four paladins were lost in thought one would think they were thinking of their next mission or what planet they would liberate next. But alas, they were thinking of pokemon. The defenders of the universe were determined to find the perfect pokemon counterparts for their leader and Altean comrades.

 

Keith was the one to break the silence “What do you think of Shiro as Mewtwo? He is stronger than us regular pokemon and they were both kind of experimented on so...”

 

“That's dark Keith” Hunk spoke up, a grimace crossing his normally bright features. “Really dark.”

 

“Told you he was a dark pokemon. But as good of a fit as that is, I kind of don’t want to use legendary pokemon.” Pidge said, “Let’s keep him as a regular pokemon.”

 

“Oh okay.” Keith’s voice dropped. “Um...then what about Kangaskhan? Sorry, I don’t know any of the newer pokemon.”

 

“Keith, Baby, I told you not to feel bad for not knowing stupid pop culture references. It’s totally fine you don’t know the thousand other random pokemon.” Lance quickly got up and parked himself next to Keith. He let an arm wrap around the other’s shoulder and showed a soft smile, one that Keith reflected as he relaxed into his boyfriend’s side. “But why exactly would he be a Kangaskhan? I wouldn’t really consider him to be ‘normal’, I was thinking more along the lines of a fighting type for Shiro.”

 

“You know how Kangaskhan is the parent pokemon? It’s always carrying their kid around in their pouch, and Shiro is Space Dad, so I figured that fit.”

 

The room once again erupted in a roar of laughter. Pidge quickly gripped her sides as she lost all balance laughing and fell onto Hunk’s lap. He wasn’t faring much better as one hand gripped the head of the couch and the other gripped at his stomach. Lance immediately dropped his forehead to Keith’s shoulder, laughing so hard it wasn’t possible to continue looking up.

 

“I love you, Keith.” Lance was finally able to get out between fits of laughing. “Have I told you that recently? Cause I don’t think I’ve told you enough. That was perfect. You are perfect.”

 

The affection and compliments caused a light red dusting across Keith’s cheeks. He quickly turned away from Lance before he could make it worse.“I guess you all agree then?”

 

“Oh definitely agree” Hunk was next to recover, lending his support to the decision.

 

“I gotta agree with Lance.” Pidge lifted herself off Hunk “That is a perfect fit for Shiro. Allura is probably Sylveon. Cute pink and blue eeveelution that flat out murders dark and dragons.”

 

“Yeah, that’s our Allura.” Once again Hunk was first to agree. Keith and Lance nodded in agreement. “So that just leaves Corran. What type is he?”

 

Once again the room was silent as the paladins focused their attention on important galaxy defending matters.

 

“I know this is a total cop-out, but I can only think of him as an Unknown,” Pidge spoke.

 

“Yeah, that is a cop-out. Come on guys we can do this!” Lance balled one hand in a fist and smacked it against his other palm. “We’ve faced harder tasks than this!”

 

“Yeah, Lance they are called the Galra.” Pidge didn’t seem impressed by the beginning of his motivational speech.

 

A smirk presented itself across Lance’s face as he slowly eyed Keith, “Yeah, I know the Galra can be pretty hard…..”

 

“LANCE! NO! We are not going through this again!”

 

Keith just laughed and faced his partner “You are terrible you know that?”

 

“What can I say I guess you….. rubbed off on me?” He shifted his eyebrows up and down at Keith who was laughing even harder now.

 

“Nope, sorry Lance. You may be my best friend, but I’m sending you to my pokebox. You’re off the team. Have fun living a life of loneliness and despair.”

 

“What?! You can’t kick me off the team! Who are you going to replace me with!”

 

“Klaizap, he was the bravest Arusian and does look like he could be a pokemon.”

 

“Should I be concerned with how fast you answered that.” Lance glared at Hunk. “Besides my Keefie would never let you replace me!” Lance hugged tightly around Keith’s arm and looked at him with the best puppy dog eyes he could muster. “Isn’t that right?”

 

Keith just shrugged, a smirk playing across his lips.

 

“Lance uses Charm, it has no effect on Keith.” Pidge commentated.

 

Lance let out a sigh of defeat “Can I at least help figure out Poke-Corran before I’m sent to the pokebox?”

 

“Can you behave?” Hunk questioned.

 

“Yeah, I’m all out of PP... Promise.”

 

“Alakazam.” Keith blurted out.

 

“Are you doing a magic trick?” Lance looked puzzled at Keith.

 

“No the pokemon, Alakazam. He has a big moustache and two spoons that he can use for food goo.”

 

“Keith, buddy I think you are on fire!” Hunk smiled “Well you are a fire pokemon, so I guess that makes sense.”

 

“Wait I got a better one!” Pidge exclaimed.

 

“Last time you said that you insulted me,” Lance said still attached to Keith’s arm.

 

Pidge smirked “Kricketune.”

 

“That one sounds familiar.” Hunk had his hand against his face taping a finger to his temple.

 

“Shit, Pidge. You are a genius.” Lance turned his attention back to the poor boy he was still grappling. “Kricketurn is a red cricket with a black Corran mustache. I kid you not they have the exact same ridiculous mustache. It is beyond perfect.”

 

The description was what Hunk needed “Now I remember that one. Good job Pidge I think you won, you figured out Pokemon Allura, Lance, Corran and yourself!”

 

“I'm not a Feebas,” Lance mumbled under his breath.

 

“What was that Lance?” Keith looked down at Lance.

 

“I was just saying,” that familiar smug, obnoxious grin materialized across Lance's mouth. “how when we got back to your room, you were going to show me that move harden.”

 

“LANCE!!!”

  
  
  



End file.
